Love and Relationships in the time of Feng Shui

Love exists in many forms such as romantic love between a man and woman, parental love, maternal love, sibling love, love between friends and various other incarnations. Love and relationships are integral to human life.

The ancient science of Feng Shui states that an individual’s life features nine major components. These are health, family, love and marriage, children and creativity, career, wealth and money, reputation and fame, skills and knowledge and travel. Each area that you inhabit during your daily life is related to one of these main concepts. Following the principles of good Feng Shui can amplify all that is good in your life and bring you an abundance of love, health, wealth and harmony.

Today we sat down with Feng Shui Guru Jill Lander of Golden Elements to ask her how we can enhance the love and relationship sectors of our lives with the help of good Feng Shui.

Jill, a city like Hong Kong, is home to many young, single people who seem to work hard and play hard. Leading such hectic lives they often have no time for romance and many profess they are lonely and are looking for ‘the one’.

Can Feng Shui help to attract love into your home and life?

[Jill Lander] The Chinese have a beautiful belief about couples being preordained at the time of birth to marry each other. The theory goes on to state that the God of Marriage, or the old man of the moon, matches young girls to boys at birth, by tying invisible red silk threads onto their toes. When these preordained couples grow up and meet, they will be powerfully drawn to each other, and marriage between them is the definite outcome. Coincidentally they will also be in tune astrologically. However, relationships have never been as complicated as they are today, with so much pressure to meet the perfect partner who has it all. Feng Shui can certainly help attract and draw someone to enhance your life. The first step is to be sure of what you want in a partner and be very specific!

Feng Shui connects our outer environment with our inner environment. So our living spaces have a vital role to play.

Jill, we have often heard of the relationship area of a home. How do we determine such a relationship area?

The sector of the house that most affects the quality of a relationship is the southwest as this has the strongest of feminine earth energy, which represents the most nurturing and loving energy. The southwest corner of a home governs marriage and happiness. If you are searching for romance and marriage, then the southwest corner is the first area of the home to ‘activate’ and ensure it is a complete sector of your living space.

What I mean by ‘complete’ is that if your home has an irregular shape. For instance, if a particular area is missing, for example, an L-shaped space will always have a space missing, which indicates that ‘energy’ is missing. When the southwest corner of a home is missing this indicates that relationships may be hard to find and maintain.

In addition to the general southwest energy relating to harmony and love, each person has his or her personal direction. A personal direction, which when made active can increase and boost relationship luck. The gender and year of birth determines an individual's personal direction and is called the Nien Yen direction.

Once you have determined the relationship area of the home, how do you make it compatible for good Feng Shui? What are the good and bad items for adorning a relationship area?

[Jill Lander] The best way to make a relationship area of a home Feng Shui compatible is to place all decorative accents in pairs. Birds are considered very auspicious, especially a couple of swans or mandarin ducks, both creatures, which only have one mate in life. You should also place Rose quartz crystals close to you at all times. Every crystal has unique properties that affect you in different ways. Rose Quartz is often called the ‘love stone’ because of its ability to stimulate passion as well as energy and confidence.

Negative energy can be over-activated with water and mirrors so placing water bodies in the bedroom or the relationship sector of a home is considered inadvisable, as it can over stimulate and disturb relationship luck.

Bedrooms that have floor-to-ceiling sliding door mirrors are very detrimental to a relationship as they can cause third party interference. From experience, many apartments that have such decorations are home to clients who are usually single and looking for love or those who have fallen out of love! So please do give careful consideration to your bedroom and relationship sector.

Jill, do you have any specific suggestions for the main bedroom? The size of the bed, its position and décor?

[Jill Lander] The size of a bed should be in proportion to the size of the room and not be too big. Beds that have joined or separate mattresses are considered not good Feng Shui, although some osteopaths do recommend it for those suffering from back-related issues. A woman should always sleep on the right side of her partner as this strengthens the relationship.

The placing of the bed should be in line with an individual's personal Feng Shui as much as possible and especially so when looking for a relationship. In terms of décor, it is advisable not to have pictures depicting single images especially single females no matter how charming they may appear. I have had several female clients who after they have removed images of single ladies from their bedrooms have had more success in their romantic relationships.

Many people like watching TV in bed but Feng Shui principles dictate this is not good. Could you explain what items are permissible and which should be banished from a bedroom?

[Jill Lander] As mentioned earlier mirrors can make any relationship too yang causing problems to find a mate or issues holding onto an unsuitable partner. A TV is considered a mirror so it should be kept as concealed as possible though ideally it should be removed from the bedroom entirely.

Electrical items and anything work related should be kept away from the bedroom and especially financial documents as they can cause a subliminal energy to form over a period causing financial woes and the potential for arguments.

Photographs of family members and friends should not be in the bedroom no matter how much you adore your family and or hold happy memories as this is your sacred space. Photographs are best placed within the most Yang area of the home such as the dining – living room or hallways.

Candles are wonderful to have in the bedroom as they infuse the room with Yin energy creating a romantic and warm essence.

Having an en suite bathroom, attached to the bedroom is considered to be desirable. Is this compatible with good Feng Shui?

[Jill Lander] It depends on the location of the en suite to the bedroom. For example, if the en suite is in either partner's relationship direction and or in the southwest of the property this could result in instability in the relationship. The placement of such an ensuite would lead to  ‘flushing away’ energy that could be valuable to any single or couple. There are ways to mitigate an unsuitably located en suite but requires expert advice using the 5 elemental formula to help realign and prevent energy loss.

Could you elaborate on the role of color in the Feng Shui of a home? Do certain colors foster better communication and understanding than others?

[Jill Lander] I incorporate colorstrology into my Feng Shui practice as I consider colorstrology to be critical. I always take into consideration my client's birth chart and the day of birth to discover their true birthday colour and essence. Green is a colour I would use to open up communication in a relationship.

Colour within the home has a direct impact on our well-being as well as our focus and creativity and the potential to enhance and maximize true potential. Your lifestyle describes the person you are.

If you feel the need to makeover your life, you should start by looking around your home and then rearranging the furniture to be compatible with good Feng Shui. You can also restructure your colours using scatter cushions and throws to see how you feel about any new colour introduction as you take your first steps towards a new lifestyle. Surround yourself with visuals and colours and textures of what you want to achieve or what you wish for at any specific time of your life.

What about artwork? Most people like to customize their living space by putting up art. Do you have any tips on choosing artwork that adheres to good Feng Shui and promotes a harmonious, love-filled dwelling?

[Jill Lander] As mentioned earlier, try to avoid pictures of single images as this can lead to solitary and reflective emotions. I am often called into place ‘art’ using the 5 elements theory. The theory prescribes the placement of suitable pieces for specific areas of the home and property which when correctly formulated can have quite amazing effects. Choose prints of forms such as mountains in the living room and study, whilst pictures of birds and flowers would be ideal to adorn any bedroom.

Jill, how do you re-energize your living space after divorce or the demise of a significant relationship?

[Jill Lander] Firstly I recommend my clients be bold and courageous enough to remove any items of furniture or artwork that was bought together and as such will be a constant reminder of happier times. Next they should clear the living space using either metal vibrations or incense smudging as this helps neutralize any negative energy.

Clearing clutter is also vital after a relationship has broken down and can be emotionally healing when the time is right.

Do you think you need some help in the love department?Could you do with some romance in your rather mundane life? Then let Feng Shui guru Jill Lander of Golden Elements Hong Kong be your love doctor and help you find your way to true love and happiness.

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